Yes, but the rub with that is defining what is abusive. I’ve seen schools look the other way when there was clearly abuse going on and I’ve seen schools report parents for things that aren’t abusive or use the threat of reporting abuse as retaliation for the parents complaining about issues at the school. Most of the time I think schools…
Yes, but the rub with that is defining what is abusive. I’ve seen schools look the other way when there was clearly abuse going on and I’ve seen schools report parents for things that aren’t abusive or use the threat of reporting abuse as retaliation for the parents complaining about issues at the school. Most of the time I think schools do try to do the right thing but unfortunately, it’s simply not the case 100% of the time.
We’re a big country and nothing with human behavior is 100%.
Ignoring obvious abuse though, is absolutely illegal. And if anyone said (like a concerned parent) “hey, I think that kid is abused” they’re legally required to forward that concern.
I’m dealing with reality here. Our child protective system has so many holes. It’s sad and it’s tragic, but it’s true. When I say it’s not 100%, it’s not 99.9%. At least 1/2 the time, I’ve observed major issues
1. Not everyone is a mandated reporter.
2. Sometimes reporting abuse can make it worse for the vulnerable people being abused, which any kid whose has been abused knows. This is why most mandated reporters I know try to have a narrow range of times they considered it required to report.
3. Defining a parent who doesn’t rush to affirm a trans identity in a kid as being abusive isn’t reasonable and it’s a waste of social work resources.
4. Social work is a system that brings a lot of classism and other biases into play. One reason I was skeptical of Defund the Police was that I know full well that social workers are not well regarded or received in poor families.
I’ve mentioned on here that I have helped to raise my nieces and nephew, which is why I have spent most of my adult life raising a gaggle of kids. There’s a reason for that.
Two of them have parents with a long history in and out of family and criminal court, the other two parents went through a nasty divorce and one tried time and time again to use CPS as a weapon, to some success. I also have other exposure to these processes via work and my community and volunteering. I’ve seen CPS do good work and be a net improvement to the family. I’ve also seen CPS so far more harm than good.
I’ve called CPS four times in my life-
Once for work when physical abuse of manifestly obvious.
Once on a neighbor who was leaving her small son locked outside while she was inside on drugs with whatever man was around at the moment.
Once on my brother and his wife (there was no other option and believe me, we weren’t the first or last call)
Once recently for a case of extreme neglect that my husband and I became aware of. Before we decided to call, we spoke with two friends who are social workers…both of them recommended taking some other steps before calling, which we did.
Secondly (I hit send too soon) I appreciate you saying what a strain and waste of resources it is to term not affirming a kid as trans as abuse. I’m not sure if it’s because parents have gotten so helicoptery as of late, but everyone seems to want to claim abuse when a child isn’t being raised they think they should be.
First off, I’m so sorry that your nieces and nephew’s life are so complicated. I’m sure it’s tough being those kids, but it’s also rough being the grown up that cares for them.
Yes, but the rub with that is defining what is abusive. I’ve seen schools look the other way when there was clearly abuse going on and I’ve seen schools report parents for things that aren’t abusive or use the threat of reporting abuse as retaliation for the parents complaining about issues at the school. Most of the time I think schools do try to do the right thing but unfortunately, it’s simply not the case 100% of the time.
We’re a big country and nothing with human behavior is 100%.
Ignoring obvious abuse though, is absolutely illegal. And if anyone said (like a concerned parent) “hey, I think that kid is abused” they’re legally required to forward that concern.
I’m dealing with reality here. Our child protective system has so many holes. It’s sad and it’s tragic, but it’s true. When I say it’s not 100%, it’s not 99.9%. At least 1/2 the time, I’ve observed major issues
1. Not everyone is a mandated reporter.
2. Sometimes reporting abuse can make it worse for the vulnerable people being abused, which any kid whose has been abused knows. This is why most mandated reporters I know try to have a narrow range of times they considered it required to report.
3. Defining a parent who doesn’t rush to affirm a trans identity in a kid as being abusive isn’t reasonable and it’s a waste of social work resources.
4. Social work is a system that brings a lot of classism and other biases into play. One reason I was skeptical of Defund the Police was that I know full well that social workers are not well regarded or received in poor families.
I’ve mentioned on here that I have helped to raise my nieces and nephew, which is why I have spent most of my adult life raising a gaggle of kids. There’s a reason for that.
Two of them have parents with a long history in and out of family and criminal court, the other two parents went through a nasty divorce and one tried time and time again to use CPS as a weapon, to some success. I also have other exposure to these processes via work and my community and volunteering. I’ve seen CPS do good work and be a net improvement to the family. I’ve also seen CPS so far more harm than good.
I’ve called CPS four times in my life-
Once for work when physical abuse of manifestly obvious.
Once on a neighbor who was leaving her small son locked outside while she was inside on drugs with whatever man was around at the moment.
Once on my brother and his wife (there was no other option and believe me, we weren’t the first or last call)
Once recently for a case of extreme neglect that my husband and I became aware of. Before we decided to call, we spoke with two friends who are social workers…both of them recommended taking some other steps before calling, which we did.
The pod phrase “it’s complicated” comes to mind.
Secondly (I hit send too soon) I appreciate you saying what a strain and waste of resources it is to term not affirming a kid as trans as abuse. I’m not sure if it’s because parents have gotten so helicoptery as of late, but everyone seems to want to claim abuse when a child isn’t being raised they think they should be.
First off, I’m so sorry that your nieces and nephew’s life are so complicated. I’m sure it’s tough being those kids, but it’s also rough being the grown up that cares for them.