It's also so striking how oblivious the NYC people are about "othering" people that they look down on. The same people obsessed witch micro aggressions treated Mill's religious background so disrespectfully. They dismiss regional language differences yet consider themselves the arbiters of which language is allowed.
It's also so striking how oblivious the NYC people are about "othering" people that they look down on. The same people obsessed witch micro aggressions treated Mill's religious background so disrespectfully. They dismiss regional language differences yet consider themselves the arbiters of which language is allowed.
I think that at the heart of these dust-ups are one or two psychopaths who are professionally jealous and strategically (and gleefully!) tear people down. They are aided by gutless managers, feckless virtue signalers, fearful bystanders.
Spot on. Relatedly, I can guarantee you that the same people telling Mills to keep quiet about his misgivings over the term "people of color" had never heard it themselves 5-10 years before they decided it was the correct term to use. These language games are fashions among overeducated people, and Mills was offering them a valuable insight into how the show might alienate its normie listeners. Too bad no one had the ears to hear what he was saying.
Right!? And maybe I’m wrong and shit has changed but I’d bet money that if she had thrown her drink in his face, if there was any comment other than laughter, it would’ve been, “what did you do to her?”
I have to agree. In my “gen x” time, if someone got a drink of water/beer thrown on them in a bar, they would get about two weeks of mileage out of the story, telling everyone in their circle of friends about it. Getting doused was almost a point of pride, or at least just a good story to tell.
Most people would laugh when hearing the story, with a “what the fucked happened?” between giggles.
After two weeks, people would ask “are you still telling that story? Jeeze. Move on.”
This reminds me of when at 19 I was arguing with my girlfriend very vociferously (who had cheated on me with my best friend (they went to the same college in a different town than me) and who I did forgive later in this same argument), and got super mad and flicked about a ounce or two of water at her out of a plastic water bottle. Not a whole bottle, just a splash. Well her college friends all took at as a sign that I was bound to beat the shit out of her and kill her some day. Literally one super nonviolent expression of anger during a heated argument. Specifically chosen because it couldn’t possibly hurt her. “Guaranteed future abuser”. Literally the most “violent” thing I have done in a relationship in 42 years.
It is pathetic to let an old, minor, ultimately meaningless grievance gain the status of a trauma and continue to have so much control over your life years after the fact. You need to move on with your life, or else you need therapy. Instead, social media offers hugboxes and people never have to move on. Jealousy and scrambling for a shrinking pool of career slots explains so much of this.
If someone I knew poured water on me I don’t know how I’d ever recover from that, personally. I think she’s brave to face her trauma head on like this. Even just stepping into a shower is essentially a daily nightmare. Water is frightening.
What evidence do you have that the victim of the drink-pouring "let an old, minor, ultimately meaningless grievance gain the status of a trauma and continue to have so much control over [her] life years after the fact"? I would think the opposite, given that she basically did nothing with the story for years and only brought it up when Mills became a news item for unrelated reasons. That's totally consistent with something being buried deep in your long-term memory before being brought back to mind by current events.
Most of her twitter feed appears to be about radio broadcasting, spiders and lesbians. None of it even remotely suggests that this incident is "controlling" her life.
In college, a friend of mine (male) threw a glass of water in my face (female) because of some comment I had made. General consensus is that I was the asshole, and he is now one of my oldest friends. That's the late 90's for you!
Lol Huh? No, he poured a drink on her. The point being if you reverse the scenario no one would care except to wonder what he’d done to deserve the dousing.
You don’t know that. Also, it didn’t happen so I don’t see why we’re inventing that scenario to be mad at. It is not what happened. There is no “huh” here.
I will say that policing language seems to be sorta universal to some extent. Where I was raised people told me not to say the "lords name in vain". I also got in trouble arguing for vegetarianism saying there wasn't a difference in killing a dog vs a cow. Now where I live I have to use "correct" pronouns among a laundry list of other things. It's all so tiresome.
It's like we're biologically beholden to needing forbidden language. Who fucking knows why. Tribal signaling, I guess. So tiresome, indeed. I hate when people tell other people how to talk.
It’s an industry thing too. People in Hollywood for the most part look down at most people outside of Hollywood. Especially parts of the country they’ve never been. Phrased differently there’s a suspicion of the audiences they’re making TV for.
Fellow Texan agrees but let's be honest...it's a pretty cool mixture of things in our state that you don't get everywhere else! Outsiders really are just hating!
All powerful cultures force other cultures to conform to their preferences but I have always had a hard eye-roll around how the coastal culture wraps that up in “Everyone needs to respect everyone else’s culture, and it just so happens to be the case that everyone else’s culture is my culture.”
As someone who moved to NYC in 1980 and lived there until 1997, it's also amazing how many "New Yorkers" are from other places in America as well as other countries. There was a lot of jealousy and uber competitiveness in places where I worked. Very easy to get sucked into at least some of the elitism. But I also find that down south where I live now, there's just another form of elitism at work. Like Andy I, too, have made it a priority to understand human nature.
I’ve begun to think a huge part of all problems of these last 10 years are as you point out, psychopaths and those who should know better in the organizations being too cowardly to do anything.
When that happens, the entire institution effectively begins to act psychopathically.
It's also so striking how oblivious the NYC people are about "othering" people that they look down on. The same people obsessed witch micro aggressions treated Mill's religious background so disrespectfully. They dismiss regional language differences yet consider themselves the arbiters of which language is allowed.
I think that at the heart of these dust-ups are one or two psychopaths who are professionally jealous and strategically (and gleefully!) tear people down. They are aided by gutless managers, feckless virtue signalers, fearful bystanders.
I loved this episode!
Spot on. Relatedly, I can guarantee you that the same people telling Mills to keep quiet about his misgivings over the term "people of color" had never heard it themselves 5-10 years before they decided it was the correct term to use. These language games are fashions among overeducated people, and Mills was offering them a valuable insight into how the show might alienate its normie listeners. Too bad no one had the ears to hear what he was saying.
The same siloed group-think that brought us "Latinx".
From the arbiters of people of color comes Latinx!
Over-schooled, under-educated.
It’s alarming how quickly people adapt to the rules that are hoisted on them from above. Beware these people.
Right!? And maybe I’m wrong and shit has changed but I’d bet money that if she had thrown her drink in his face, if there was any comment other than laughter, it would’ve been, “what did you do to her?”
Not to mention, it's a bit offsides to call a co-worker a "fucking hipster".
I dislike when someone excavates an old grievance like this. She sucks.
Some people fought in WWII. Others got hit with water in a hipster bar. Every generation has its struggles.
I have to agree. In my “gen x” time, if someone got a drink of water/beer thrown on them in a bar, they would get about two weeks of mileage out of the story, telling everyone in their circle of friends about it. Getting doused was almost a point of pride, or at least just a good story to tell.
Most people would laugh when hearing the story, with a “what the fucked happened?” between giggles.
After two weeks, people would ask “are you still telling that story? Jeeze. Move on.”
This reminds me of when at 19 I was arguing with my girlfriend very vociferously (who had cheated on me with my best friend (they went to the same college in a different town than me) and who I did forgive later in this same argument), and got super mad and flicked about a ounce or two of water at her out of a plastic water bottle. Not a whole bottle, just a splash. Well her college friends all took at as a sign that I was bound to beat the shit out of her and kill her some day. Literally one super nonviolent expression of anger during a heated argument. Specifically chosen because it couldn’t possibly hurt her. “Guaranteed future abuser”. Literally the most “violent” thing I have done in a relationship in 42 years.
What a shock that you water abusers all stick together. Sick.
It is pathetic to let an old, minor, ultimately meaningless grievance gain the status of a trauma and continue to have so much control over your life years after the fact. You need to move on with your life, or else you need therapy. Instead, social media offers hugboxes and people never have to move on. Jealousy and scrambling for a shrinking pool of career slots explains so much of this.
If someone I knew poured water on me I don’t know how I’d ever recover from that, personally. I think she’s brave to face her trauma head on like this. Even just stepping into a shower is essentially a daily nightmare. Water is frightening.
Greg unmasked as the Wicked Witch of the West?
*warlock
Five point penalty for misgendering a spooky magic person.
What evidence do you have that the victim of the drink-pouring "let an old, minor, ultimately meaningless grievance gain the status of a trauma and continue to have so much control over [her] life years after the fact"? I would think the opposite, given that she basically did nothing with the story for years and only brought it up when Mills became a news item for unrelated reasons. That's totally consistent with something being buried deep in your long-term memory before being brought back to mind by current events.
Most of her twitter feed appears to be about radio broadcasting, spiders and lesbians. None of it even remotely suggests that this incident is "controlling" her life.
In college, a friend of mine (male) threw a glass of water in my face (female) because of some comment I had made. General consensus is that I was the asshole, and he is now one of my oldest friends. That's the late 90's for you!
The late 90s was a wild time.
So we’re just inventing scenarios to be mad at now? She didn’t pour a drink on him. That’s just straight up not what happened.
Lol Huh? No, he poured a drink on her. The point being if you reverse the scenario no one would care except to wonder what he’d done to deserve the dousing.
You don’t know that. Also, it didn’t happen so I don’t see why we’re inventing that scenario to be mad at. It is not what happened. There is no “huh” here.
I will say that policing language seems to be sorta universal to some extent. Where I was raised people told me not to say the "lords name in vain". I also got in trouble arguing for vegetarianism saying there wasn't a difference in killing a dog vs a cow. Now where I live I have to use "correct" pronouns among a laundry list of other things. It's all so tiresome.
That's a really good point!
It’s generally adults telling children not to use naugh to language. Not other adults demanding fealty.
I think it’s human nature, to be honest. We try to control what people say because it’s the closest we can physically get to controlling thought.
It's like we're biologically beholden to needing forbidden language. Who fucking knows why. Tribal signaling, I guess. So tiresome, indeed. I hate when people tell other people how to talk.
It’s an industry thing too. People in Hollywood for the most part look down at most people outside of Hollywood. Especially parts of the country they’ve never been. Phrased differently there’s a suspicion of the audiences they’re making TV for.
As a Texan I can only admit that we're guilty of this as well.
Fellow Texan agrees but let's be honest...it's a pretty cool mixture of things in our state that you don't get everywhere else! Outsiders really are just hating!
All powerful cultures force other cultures to conform to their preferences but I have always had a hard eye-roll around how the coastal culture wraps that up in “Everyone needs to respect everyone else’s culture, and it just so happens to be the case that everyone else’s culture is my culture.”
To me it's just plain old bullying, a 1:1 of my experiences with the cool kids in school.
Or the cool kids who just went along with the SS. “Hey man, I’m just going with the flow!”
Leaders and followers…
As someone who moved to NYC in 1980 and lived there until 1997, it's also amazing how many "New Yorkers" are from other places in America as well as other countries. There was a lot of jealousy and uber competitiveness in places where I worked. Very easy to get sucked into at least some of the elitism. But I also find that down south where I live now, there's just another form of elitism at work. Like Andy I, too, have made it a priority to understand human nature.
I’ve begun to think a huge part of all problems of these last 10 years are as you point out, psychopaths and those who should know better in the organizations being too cowardly to do anything.
When that happens, the entire institution effectively begins to act psychopathically.