Loved this conversation. The detail about the misunderstanding of the workplace shoulder rub struck me, as someone who—like Mills—went to a Christian college. I had not been from a very touchy-feely part of Christian culture, but one summer I worked as a camp counselor at a camp affiliated with my Christian college. It was a completely d…
Loved this conversation. The detail about the misunderstanding of the workplace shoulder rub struck me, as someone who—like Mills—went to a Christian college. I had not been from a very touchy-feely part of Christian culture, but one summer I worked as a camp counselor at a camp affiliated with my Christian college. It was a completely different subculture from what I was used to on campus during the academic year: lots of hugs, interpersonal warmth, and significantly more charismatic theology/beliefs than would have been characteristic of the students on the main campus. Tl;dr: The culture of Christian camps can be really demonstrative, and this is seen as a good thing within the culture.
I can totally understand how someone from a similar Christian-camp culture might rub someone's shoulder in support and have not the faintest idea how NYC media folks might take the gesture amiss.
I had this thought as well. Especially from charismatic denominations, physical touch is a big part of fellowship.
I was a closeted gay kid growing up in Christian culture, and a classmate of mine was so extremely touchy that I wondered if maybe he was secretly into me. He wasn't, he was just a Pentecostal.
I'm from a pretty touchy-feely culture in Texas, and right now I live near Mexico which is a very touch-feely culture. We hired a woman direct from Juarez a few months ago, doesn't speak any English, and I've gotten more really big, tight hugs this year than in any of my previous work history. If you just understand what the intentions are, it's nice. We are a social species.
I did not go to a Christian college but I ended up with a lot of evangelical friends at my secular college, and the friendly back rub was definitely THE go to move for the Christian guys when they liked a girl, so that part of Andy’s story struck me as the most Christian college guy thing ever 😂
I had a few female friends on campus who'd complain about how this guy or that was especially huggy, and I suspect that I did not have this problem with these guys because I was not similarly proportioned. ;-)
That said, girls handled it by declining hugs, not making a MeToo case out of it, which seems to me like the right response to a fairly minor problem.
Right. I remember moving to the midwest as a teen and the folks used church as a quick way to meet people and integrate, so I went a bunch of Protestant youth groups. I noticed everybody was pretty touchy feely and some of the girls commented that I wasn’t. It occurred to me at the time that it did kinda seem a “safe” way to feel each other up in a sexually repressive environment. (An observation I didn’t share at the time)
Which of course isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with it, just that it seems a distinctly different vibe.
Loved this conversation. The detail about the misunderstanding of the workplace shoulder rub struck me, as someone who—like Mills—went to a Christian college. I had not been from a very touchy-feely part of Christian culture, but one summer I worked as a camp counselor at a camp affiliated with my Christian college. It was a completely different subculture from what I was used to on campus during the academic year: lots of hugs, interpersonal warmth, and significantly more charismatic theology/beliefs than would have been characteristic of the students on the main campus. Tl;dr: The culture of Christian camps can be really demonstrative, and this is seen as a good thing within the culture.
I can totally understand how someone from a similar Christian-camp culture might rub someone's shoulder in support and have not the faintest idea how NYC media folks might take the gesture amiss.
I had this thought as well. Especially from charismatic denominations, physical touch is a big part of fellowship.
I was a closeted gay kid growing up in Christian culture, and a classmate of mine was so extremely touchy that I wondered if maybe he was secretly into me. He wasn't, he was just a Pentecostal.
I'm from a pretty touchy-feely culture in Texas, and right now I live near Mexico which is a very touch-feely culture. We hired a woman direct from Juarez a few months ago, doesn't speak any English, and I've gotten more really big, tight hugs this year than in any of my previous work history. If you just understand what the intentions are, it's nice. We are a social species.
I did not go to a Christian college but I ended up with a lot of evangelical friends at my secular college, and the friendly back rub was definitely THE go to move for the Christian guys when they liked a girl, so that part of Andy’s story struck me as the most Christian college guy thing ever 😂
I had a few female friends on campus who'd complain about how this guy or that was especially huggy, and I suspect that I did not have this problem with these guys because I was not similarly proportioned. ;-)
That said, girls handled it by declining hugs, not making a MeToo case out of it, which seems to me like the right response to a fairly minor problem.
Yea. He was trying to fuck.
Right. I remember moving to the midwest as a teen and the folks used church as a quick way to meet people and integrate, so I went a bunch of Protestant youth groups. I noticed everybody was pretty touchy feely and some of the girls commented that I wasn’t. It occurred to me at the time that it did kinda seem a “safe” way to feel each other up in a sexually repressive environment. (An observation I didn’t share at the time)
Which of course isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with it, just that it seems a distinctly different vibe.