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pseudonyms for fun and safety's avatar

Yes! Like, jesus, Use Your Words.

If you don’t like how touchy-feely someone is, Tell Them.

‘Hey man, can you not do that? It’s a little too much and makes people feel weird.’

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Katrina Gulliver's avatar

I agree in general, but there was a point in his narrative where I could imagine being that woman. I've had that kind of thing happen, the dude is touching you, you're just CRINGING and wishing he'd stop, there's a bunch of other people there and if say "hey, get your hands off me", you're going to look like a bitch. It's awkward AF.

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HD's avatar

Absolutely! As a woman who has been in that position many times, I completely agree. At that point in the story I was like, hmmm, don’t know if I’m going to be able to hang. But then, I thought he really took responsibility for his actions and was extremely thoughtful about it all. As a teacher in a school with lots of boarding students, I have so often seen these misunderstandings arising from cultural differences (which can be regional within the US, or international), and often people truly don’t know how they are being perceived. The fact that he realized that, owned it, and made amends is admirable…and ultimately, isn’t that the goal of any liberal society? For people to communicate, evolve, and change? I don’t understand this mindset that people have to be perfect from day 1 and just “know” how to behave in any milieu. That’s a privilege afforded to a select few in any society.

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HD's avatar

P.S. I also believe that people can do things that are wrong and then change. As a teacher I see it all the time. It’s just so depressing and cynical to be like, this person messed up one time at age thirty something…and no matter what they do, or learn, or how they try to grow or change, now they should be cast out of their job and all they love. Makes no sense.

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Chris's avatar

Yeah I think the rest of the accusations were BS but a back rub in a meeting does seem pretty unprofessional and would warrant an HR response in any large company. Drink on the head though is just dumb, though, I can’t believe that woman went to HR about it. Some people just really hold a grudge I guess.

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Martin Blank's avatar

No one is going to think twice if you say “please don’t touch me” in a non-bitchy way. A lot of that is in your head.

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J.C. Ermine's avatar

100% agree, there's got to be a middle ground between letting someone make you uncomfortable and seeing to it that he never has a job again. :/

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