What is the argument against kink shaming? Just that shaming is bad because people should mind their own business? I can see that but it doesn’t mean I need to celebrate diapers and people wearing animal costumes and leather obsessions. Not all impulses should be indulged--just because people like something and their brain lights up when…
What is the argument against kink shaming? Just that shaming is bad because people should mind their own business? I can see that but it doesn’t mean I need to celebrate diapers and people wearing animal costumes and leather obsessions. Not all impulses should be indulged--just because people like something and their brain lights up when they do it, doesn’t mean they SHOULD. I shouldn’t eat candy everyday and try not to (but it is so hard) but I don’t join an online community of proud consumers of candy. What am I missing?
I think the original meaning was more like 'don't be rude about people having kinks in general, being into some weird shit in private doesn't make you a disgusting degenerate', which I'm fully on board with. Unfortunately, like everything else in social justice politics, it's been co-opted by raging narcissists to mean something completely different - in this case, 'if you object to me flaunting my kink in public regardless of whether it's appropriate or the people around me consent then you're a prude and a bigot'.
Yes, it is not really the “kink” part, I get the desire for novelty or playfulness within a relationship, it is the implication that it can’t be something that is harmful for some people and that it should be publicly validated.
If a kink is not dangerous, the liberal or libertarian response should be "each to their own". Though "keep it to yourself" is also a perfectly reasonable attitude.
What is the argument against kink shaming? Just that shaming is bad because people should mind their own business? I can see that but it doesn’t mean I need to celebrate diapers and people wearing animal costumes and leather obsessions. Not all impulses should be indulged--just because people like something and their brain lights up when they do it, doesn’t mean they SHOULD. I shouldn’t eat candy everyday and try not to (but it is so hard) but I don’t join an online community of proud consumers of candy. What am I missing?
I think the original meaning was more like 'don't be rude about people having kinks in general, being into some weird shit in private doesn't make you a disgusting degenerate', which I'm fully on board with. Unfortunately, like everything else in social justice politics, it's been co-opted by raging narcissists to mean something completely different - in this case, 'if you object to me flaunting my kink in public regardless of whether it's appropriate or the people around me consent then you're a prude and a bigot'.
Yes, it is not really the “kink” part, I get the desire for novelty or playfulness within a relationship, it is the implication that it can’t be something that is harmful for some people and that it should be publicly validated.
It grows right out of the "it's forbidden to forbid" bullshit (that I once bought) of the soixante-huitards & their American ilk.
Sam Kris’s just put up an essay about nerd culture that sort of explains this phenomena
Thanks, sounds interesting!
If a kink is not dangerous, the liberal or libertarian response should be "each to their own". Though "keep it to yourself" is also a perfectly reasonable attitude.